Church Signs

You know those signs out in front of churches with puns and witticisms? Here are church signs that I have seen that stuck with me. 

1. There are some questions that can't be answered by Google.
2. Read the Bible - It will scare the hell out of you.
3. Walmart is not the only saving place.
4. Free coffee, everlasting life. Yes membership has it's privileges.
5. Prayer- wireless access to God with no roaming fee. 
6. Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
7. Don't be so open minded your brains fall out. 
8. If you think it's hot here, imagine hell.
9. Come check out our hot new pastor.
10. God should be our steering wheel, not our spare tire.
11. Whoever's praying for snow please stop!
12. Meth Church .... (It was Methodist with the "odist" part faded and chipped away)
13. Too cold to change sign, message inside.
14. There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking in its parking lots, so they put up a sign: CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY, TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTIZED!" That took care of the problem!
15. No God - No Peace?   Know God - Know Peace.
16. Free Trip to heaven.   Details Inside!
17. For fast, fast, fast relief,   take two tablets.
18. When the restaurant next to another Church put out a sign with big red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."
19.  "People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are." 
20. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?"
21. "Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily."
22. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."
23. "This is a ch_ _ ch.   What is missing?" ----- (U R)
24. "In the dark?   Follow the Son."
25. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep.   Talk to the Shepherd."