Twi Jokes

TWILIGHT JOKES!!!!

~Jasper Hale will never be a therapist 

He already knows "how you feel about that" 

~Jacob glared at the kids dressed as vampires for Halloween 
He lied and said he was out of candy. 

~Dear Journal,
Today I made Edward feel that he was in love with Emmett...Again
Later,
Jasper

~Where do the cullens go for a buffet?
The Zoo 

~Edward Cullen bites...pillows 

~I named all my dogs after Jacob and his friends. 

~Bella: You're pale white and ice cold...I know what you are.
Edward: Say it. Say it!
Bella: Vanilla Ice Cream 

How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell 'fetch'!

- Why can't people stay angry at Jasper Hale?
He calms them

- Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as or more beautiful then herself.
She came back with a mirror...

- Alice Cullen and the Hulk were on a cruise and the ship sank, and they got trapped on an island, who would win a fight between them?
There would be no fight becasue Alice would have seen the ship sink in her visions and never got on!

-How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

-How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

Jacob got ran over by a reindeer
walking home from Bella’s Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Vampires,
but looking now at Edward I believe.

Dear Diary
I would like to...La push...Jacob of a cliff,
love Edward

I am Jacob. Fear me. Woof.

I poured glitter on my boyfriend so that he would look like Edward Cullen.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand Edward Cullen!!

jacob got run over by a volvo, walking home from bella's christmas eve. you can say you blame it all on edward, but truth be told, the volvo was driven by me. 

The only bad thing about Edward Cullen is that there is only one!

Chuck Norris wears Alice Cullen pajamas.

 While you were off chasing Edward Cullen, I was finding a REAL man

~Thanks twilight, now if a boy ignores me, I know its only because he's a polite vampire, trying to resist my blood.