Blonde Broken Finger

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her angle and screams and so on it goes. The doctors says, "You're not really brunette are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde. "I thought so," he says. "You're finger is broken."

Papoose Jokes

Okay... you'd have to hear this in person to REALLY get a laugh at it, but a couple of people I know have come up with some pointless, but hilarious jokes. xD They really are knee slappers at times. They have been reading some books called The Mandie series, I've mentioned them before. There is this character called Uncle Ned and he is a Native American. His English is good but his grammar stinks. Now, whenever my friends are jokingly commanding each other to do something, they take on an unnaturally deep voice and say, "Papoose! Sit down and shut up! PAPOOSE!!!"

You have to try it sometime xD xD xD xD

"Papoose! Papoose come here!!"

"MOOOOOOO"

"Papoose must learn to play guitar" -plays air guitar-

"Papoose! LOOK AT NED WHEN HE TALKS TO YOU!"

"Papoose, must learn to be hip... like Uncle Ned!"

"Papoose will have big sexy hair, like Uncle Ned!" (big sexy hair spray xD)

It's all in the moment xD Oh wells, our humor.... rofl xD

and no... it's not this Uncle Ned

 

Desert Cool Down and Redneck Road Kill

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are driving through the desert when their car breaks down. So they have to get out. The Englishman takes a bottle of wine with him, the Scotsman takes an umbrella and the Irishman takes a car door. On the way they meet this old bastard. He says to the Englishman "I know why you've got the wine so you can have a drink when your thirsty", He says to the Scotsman "I know why you've got the umbrella to keep the sun off you", "but" he says to the Irishman "Why have you got the car door?" and the Irishman replies "If I get hot I can wind the window down!"

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This guy is walking along a dirt road when he stubbles upon an redneck lying on the ground with his ear in the dirt. "Are you alright? What are you doing?" the man asks but gets no answer at all. The redneck doesn't even acknowledge that he is there. So after a while of silence the man asks again, "Can I help you sir?" The redneck replies this time. "Ford pick-up truck, blue, 18 inch rims, two passengers, female driver." "Wow! You can tell all that by listening to the ground!" the man says. "NO" The redneck replies with a shocked look on his face "The chick ran over me 10 minutes ago!"

Cowboy Joke

The old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff.
"Howdy, stranger..."

"Howdy, Sheriff..."

The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss were the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, and stepped up on the walk and aimed towards the swinging doors of the saloon. "Hold on there, Mister..."

"Sheriff?"

"Did I just see what I think I just saw?"

"Reckon you did, Sheriff...I got me some powerful chapped lips..."

"And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked."

Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' em.


....ain't you glad to live in a world where there's chap-stick?

Blonde Pig and Blonde Police Officer

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy fat pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone shouted out, "Where did you get that?" The pig replied, "I won her in a raffle!"

Blonde cop pulls over a blonde driver who ran a stop sign and asks her for id. The blonde driver looks all around in her purse, glove box and car and can't find her license. Officer, I must have left my drivers license at home. Well, do you have any kind of identification on you? The blonde goes into her purse and takes out a pocket mirror and says, I do have this picture of me. Let me see says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it and says, Oh terribly sorry, if I had known you were a police officer, I would not have pulled you over.

Blonde Two Coats and Blonde Bar

Blonde Joke Day!!! I would love for y'all to TRY to out joke me! Go on... I dare ya! Who's got the most original, rarely heard blonde joke? You got what it takes? Who's up for a blonde joke war? ANY takers?

Married blonde was concerned about her stupidity lately to her husband, so she decided to make it up to him by painting the house while he's away at work. The husband comes home, and the house was suspiciously green and smelled like paint, so he found his wife in the master bedroom and asked "What's going on". His wife still painting away but wearing a ski jacket over a leather coat. He said "What are you doing to the house, and why are you painting in a ski jacket and a leather coat? Blonde wife responds "The instructions on the can said ˜FOR BEST RESULTS, USE TWO COATS!

Wow... Amelia Bedilia moment thar...

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something." Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Chuck Norris Jokes- Round 2

Here's some more Chuck Jokes:

One time, Chuck Norris sued NBC for copyrights of his fists, Law and Order.

Chuck Norris has only one fear. It's to find out that there is no one left to roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris can speak Brail.

Chuck Norris watched Twiligh... he's never stopped roundhouse kicking ever sense.