An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are driving through the desert when their car breaks down. So they have to get out. The Englishman takes a bottle of wine with him, the Scotsman takes an umbrella and the Irishman takes a car door. On the way they meet this old bastard. He says to the Englishman "I know why you've got the wine so you can have a drink when your thirsty", He says to the Scotsman "I know why you've got the umbrella to keep the sun off you", "but" he says to the Irishman "Why have you got the car door?" and the Irishman replies "If I get hot I can wind the window down!"
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This guy is walking along a dirt road when he stubbles upon an redneck lying on the ground with his ear in the dirt. "Are you alright? What are you doing?" the man asks but gets no answer at all. The redneck doesn't even acknowledge that he is there. So after a while of silence the man asks again, "Can I help you sir?" The redneck replies this time. "Ford pick-up truck, blue, 18 inch rims, two passengers, female driver." "Wow! You can tell all that by listening to the ground!" the man says. "NO" The redneck replies with a shocked look on his face "The chick ran over me 10 minutes ago!"
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